With the inclusion of Sonic the Hedgehog and Solid Snake in
Brawl, I’m really hoping the next
Smash Bros. game will feature more non-Nintendo faces. Way more. I think the roster should be divided in half, even if it means cutting down on the gargantuan Nintendo lineup -- they can start by getting rid of all the uninspired "clones." Here are my pitches for eighteen non-Nintendo characters I’d love to see in the ring (making twenty total including Sonic and Solid) as well as possible move selections for each:
Mega Man
Here’s a character at the top of everyone’s wish-list, and for good reason. It would be a dream come true to see the blue bomber beam down into a
Smash arena. He had a brand new arsenal of weapons in every game, so there are plenty of special moves to choose from. My recommendations:
B: the standard pea shooter, as well as a charge shot if held down.
Down + B: the old-school slide attack.
Over + B: Rolling Cutter boomerang.
Up + B: Rush spring coil, which would remain onstage (like Sonic's Up + B).
Ryu
It wouldn’t be a true massive-crossover-fighting-game without a
Street Fighter. And how cool would it be to easily pull off those special moves without having to memorize and execute long button sequences? The martial artist would be a real powerhouse, and one of his alternate colors could be “Ken.”
B: "Hadouken" fireball (that’s a no-brainer).
Down + B: parry/counterattack.
Over + B: hurricane kick, a.k.a. "Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku!"
Up + B: "Shouryuken" upper-cut.
Scorpion and Sub-Zero
Speaking of classic fighting games and palette swaps, why not throw in some
Mortal Kombat ninjas? Scorp and Sub could be clones of each other, though their special moves could actually differ. And I’m guessing they’d have to leave their Fatalities at home to be eligible for a Nintendo game.
Scorpion:
B: shoots his harpoon, which pulls enemies in for a grab. “GET OVER HERE!”
Down + B: erupts the ground before him in hell-fire.
Over + B: a block that catches thrown items.
Up + B: teleport with a burst of flames (like Mewtwo or Lucario).
Sub- Zero:
B: shoots his ice-ball, which freezes opponents in place.
Down + B: creates a slippery ice patch on the ground to trip enemies.
Over + B: a block that catches thrown items.
Up + B: teleport with a puff of blue smoke.
Lara Croft
There need to be more women in the fight club, and who better than the most popular female game hero ever? The busty tomb raider would appeal to both male and female gamers. Throw her into the ring with Zelda, Peach and Samus and you’ve got a true catfight. That gives me an idea for a new item: pillows.
B: busts out her guns (that is, her pistols).
Down + B: switches guns. In addition to the double pistols, she could also pack her traditional shotgun and uzi.
Over + B: cartwheel attack.
Up + B: a grappling hook recovery (that works even on thin air).
Prince of Persia
The Iranian traceur would be a fast, fluid swordsman who’d specialize at juggling multiple opponents at once, like he could in
The Sands of Time trilogy. He'd also be able to run up walls, and his home stage could be designed to take full advantage of his parkour abilities.
B: stabs with the Dagger of Time, which fills up his sand meter. After successfully stabbing three times, he gains the ability to rewind time.
Down + B: rewinds time (for up to 5 seconds) to redo those crucial mistakes. Imagine how fun that would be, especially with four Princes.
Over + B: vaults over an opponent and slices them in the opposite direction -- great when his back's at the edge.
Up + B: an upward-slice followed by a downard-slice (like Kirby's Up + B).
Zeke and Julie
Few would recognize the obscure duo from
Zombies Ate My Neighbors, but like Ness, their appearance would overjoy the cult fanbase, renew interest in the source material and perhaps even revive the franchise.
Zeke:
B: fires a squirt-gun filled with holy water.
Over + B: hurls a six-pack of exploding soda cans.
Up + B: trampoline-bounce.
Down + B: lays an inflatable clown decoy to distract/block opponents.
Julie:
B: fires a squirt-gun filled with holy water, slower than Zeke’s but stronger.
Over + B: mows down enemies with a weed whacker.
Up + B: trampoline-bounce.
Down + B: sprays a fire extinguisher (big knock-back).
Earthworm Jim
The goofy earthworm who fatefully became one with the "Ultra-high-tech-indestructible-super-space-cyber-suit” could enter the ring on his pocket rocket, taunt his foes with retro catchphrases, and his Final Smash could make it rain cows.
B: fires his trusty, red (also known as green) plasma blaster, which could be just like Fox’s gun: fast but weak, with zero knock-back.
Over + B: whips enemies with his head, er, his original body.
Up + B: employs the Snot parachute, allowing him to glide glide (like Peach's parasol).
Down + B: throws an anvil in the air, which falls wherever opponent is.
Crash Bandicoot
Naughty Dog’s mascot would be a well-rounded character and a great choice for beginners. His home stage could be an ancient temple full of booby traps, including the giant Indiana Jones-esque boulder. For his Final Smash, he could don an Uka Uka mask.
B: fires the wumpa Fruit Bazooka.
Down + B: belly flop.
Over + B: spin attack.
Up + B: tornado jump.
Jak & Daxter
A pair so popular, they've practically replaced Crash as Naughty Dog's new mascot. Like the Pokémon trainer, Jak could be 3 swappable characters in one. He could transform into Dark Jak, a devilish alter ego with the most muscle; and Light Jak, an ethereal, winged form with the best defensive abilities. Taunts would feature a variety of hilarious Daxter quotes.
Regular Jak:
B: Daxter fires the morph gun from Jak’s shoulder.
Down + B: transform into Dark Jak.
Over + B: spin attack.
Up + B: Daxter hurls Jak upward.
Dark Jak:
B: charges up before unleashing a great finisher (like Falcon Punch).
Down + B: transform into Light Jak.
Over + B: spin attack.
Up + B: a blast of dark eco shoots him up, horns first.
Light Jak:
B: absorb projectiles (like Ness's Down + B).
Down + B: revert to regular Jak.
Over + B: spin attack.
Up + B: uses wings for a boost of air followed by a slow descent.
Master Chief
He’s the hero of Halo, the mascot of the Xbox, and one of the few modern VG characters who’s become as iconic as the classics. Microsoft’s faceless stormtrooper may seem an unlikely candidate for
Smash Bros., but that’s exactly the kind of variety the series needs to draw in a new crowd. His Final Smash could call in an air-strike.
B: fires his assault rifle.
Down + B: draws a frag grenade, which explodes on impact.
Over + B: slices with his energy sword; close-range, hard to time, but very powerful.
Up + B: gravity lift.
Black Mage and White Mage
There are plenty of great
Final Fantasy characters out there, but many of them have already been pitted against each other in
Dissidia. Instead, what about simply borrowing some of the classic job classes? The mages would be identical other than their special moves, which could have opposite effects.
Black Mage:
B: shoots a fireball.
Down + B: lightning strikes wherever opponents are.
Over + B: a poison spell that slowly reduces enemy's health.
Up + B: creates a temporary staircase of ice in midair.
White Mage:
B: reflects projectiles.
Down + B: holy light strikes wherever opponents are.
Over + B: a cure spell that slowly restores an ally’s health.
Up + B: creates a temporary staircase of clouds in midair.
Crono and Frog
The time-traveling swordsman from
Chrono Trigger always have time for a good duel. Crono would have great agility and lightning magic, he could enter the arena through a time gate, and his Final Smash could be Luminaire. Frog could have big jumps and water magic, his “grab” could shoot his tongue out like Yoshi, and his “shield” could be a bubble.
Crono:
B: shoots a bolt of lightning.
Down + B: parry/counter.
Over + B: cyclone.
Up + B: lightning launches him upward.
Frog:
B: shoots a wave of water.
Down + B: parry/counter.
Over + B: a powerful thrust from the Masamune.
Up + B: water launches him upward.
Simon Belmont
Konami’s vampire hunter would make a unique contender. He’d be a lightweight, considering the slightest touch from anything in the
Castlevania games always knocked him back a mile. But his flail would give his smashes an unmatched range, which would, along with his other specials, make him a great warrior -- from a distance.
B: lobs a battle axe.
Down + B: tosses a bottle of holy water, which creates a small fire upon breaking.
Over + B: uses whip freely and creatively (like Shiek’s over + B).
Up + B: uses whip as a grappling hook recovery (that works even on thin air).
Dracula
The legendary vampire was born long before videogames were, but it was Konami’s
Castlevania series that immortalized him in retro gamer’s memories. The arch nemesis of the Belmont family would be dead-slow but wicked strong.
Smash Bros. needs more villains, and Drac is one of the few who could rival Bowser and Ganondorf.
B: shoots fireballs in three directions.
Down + B: covers himself with his cloak Bela Lugosi-style, reflecting projectiles.
Over + B: grabs opponent and sucks their blood, draining health.
Up + B: transforms into a bat, allowing him to fly for a short time.
There you have it, Nintendo; eighteen suggestions for third-party characters. I expect to see plenty of them in the next round. It's the only way the series could improve upon itself at this point. There are plenty of other wish-lists out there, too, though I believe mine’s the first to pitch extensive move selections. And it’s not just about getting to play as our favorite characters, it's about unity. After years at war with each other, it’s really great to see companies finally making the peace... even if it's symbolized by having their mascots beat the living crap out of each other.
