Top 50 Old Movies: Part 2

#40: La Jetée
(The Pier)
1960

What is your strongest memory? For the dude in this movie, it’s both his fondest and most traumatic childhood memory: he saw an incredibly beautiful woman at an airport pier, followed by a horrible event -- the kid creamed and shat his pants in the same minute! This 27-minute French short is set in a post-apocalyptic future, where the survivors of World War III are forced to endure experimental time-travel in an effort to retrieve viable resources. But their primitive techniques are only able to send you back to memories you maintain a strong attachment to. Where would you go? If I got to choose, I’d go back to Spring Break, 2005, baby. But considering I don’t remember most of it, my mind would most likely send me back to grade school, where I’m getting beaten up behind the cafeteria. Stupid brain… Oh, wait! As an adult, I’d be able to stop the bullies from picking on my younger self! Those punks are going down! The Pier is one-of-a-kind; it’s comprised of photographs instead of video, and with narration instead of dialogue. Only a brief moment is shot in video -- and when that photograph comes to life, it’s one of the most beautiful moments in all of cinema. It’s all accompanied by ambient sound effects and a haunting score. I always thought it’d be fun to remake this one. All you need is a few friends, a camera, random pictures of airports and a beautiful, willing woman. Sadly, I can’t find the last one anywhere…

#39: Annie Hall
1977

This was the date film that stole Best Picture, Screenplay and Director from Star Wars. Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) is a neurotic standup comedian who falls for an eccentric free-spirit named Annie (Diane Keaton). I’m not a big fan of romantic comedies, but this one is different. It’s about the guy who doesn’t get the girl. And that’s no spoiler. Alvy reveals it first thing in a technique used frequently in the film: breaking the “fourth wall” to address the audience directly. Following the breakup, all Alvy’s been able to do is sift through all their memories together, trying to pinpoint where he effed it up. The film is a virtually plotless series of scenes that show the rise and fall of a typical relationship. They have the same problems and experiences that almost every couple go through. The dialogue is very realistic, full of “uhs,” nervous conversations and the like. Woody also employed an arsenal of artistic techniques: split-screen sequences, animation, subtitles for what the characters are really thinking, “if only life were like this” moments, and (my favorite) the characters are able to “time-travel” back to the past to watch each other’s memories. Most rom-coms only appeal to chicks, but this is one that both sexes can enjoy equally. Fellas: you’ll love Diane Keaton. Ladies: you’ll love her fashion statements. And you’ll both relate to the relationshit. Annie Hall depicts the bitter sting of heartbreak even better than Casablanca. In fact, the movie bums me out so much I only watch it when I’m feeling emotionally masochistic.

#38: Taxi Driver
1976

Step aside, Batman. There’s a new dark knight in town! Robert DeNiro is Travis Bickle, a lonely New York cabbie that grows disgusted with all the drugdealers, pimps, prostitutes and criminals around him. So he buys some guns on the black market and decides to “clean up the streets.” Bickle is a true vigilante, only he has depression and post-traumatic stress disorder instead of superpowers, which makes him all the more dangerous. It’s tragicomic how awkward and socially inexperienced he is, especially how naïve he is with women. He ignorantly takes a date to a porno theater -- his idea of “seeing a movie.” He’s not a bad guy; he's just abnormal and misunderstood by normal folk. Screenwriter Paul Schrader was clearly no stranger to loneliness. He knew only too well that loneliness is the worst when you’re surrounded by other people. And you can’t get much more crowded than the streets of N.Y. Notice how DeNiro is shot with a 450mm lens amidst an anonymous sea of people so that he’s the only one in focus. Losers will readily sympathize with Bickle, though still be shocked by the extremes at which he vents his frustration (after being dumped by a woman working at a political rally, he retaliates by attempting to assassinate the nominee she works for). As dark and violent as it all is, it actually cheers you up in the end, as Travis comes to enjoy his newfound independence. Taxi Driver was Martin Scorsese’s masterpiece, a deep character study, and one of the great punk films of the seventies. Jodie Foster was only fourteen when she played the teenage prostitute DeNiro tries to rescue, and the climactic bloodbath originally earned the film an X-rating. Composer Bernard Herrman died the night after he finished recording the score -- the best of his career. That saxophone is eargasmic!

#37: Spartacus
1960

Movies like Gladiator and Braveheart are only wanabes of Spartacus, the granddaddy of the medieval epic. It tells the true story of Spartacus, a rebellious slave who became a gladiator who became a general, then led “army of gladiators” against the Roman Empire to free every slave in Italy. Spartacus had a rough life. He’s forced to endure slavery and torture, fight his best buddy in the arena, and listen in as his babe is forced to make love to another. But despite all the tragedy, it’s miraculously inspiring. It’s a great zero-to-hero story with two of the most uplifting scenes in film history -- the famous “I’m Spartacus!” scene and the emotional finale. Spartacus, the film, waged an equally epic battle against the Hay’s Office, the notorious stuck-up censorship board of the time, who deemed the film extremely unacceptable for its visceral violence, sexual innuendo, and anti-religious themes, as well as knowingly hiring blacklisted Communists. Producer/star Kirk Douglas was a real-life Spartacus; a ballsy rebel fighting the system for creative freedom. The Hay’s Office did wound Spartacus, preventing many of the great ideas from making it to the screen. But the film did in turn strike a crucial blow that defeated the Hollywood blacklist and contributed to the fall of the Hay’s Office years later. Best of all, many of the “unacceptable” shots that the Hay’s Office cut are restored on the DVDs, including surprising moments of gory glory as well as the controversial “snails and oysters” scene, equating sexual orientation to taste in food. Both the story in the film and the story behind the film encourage you to fight for the cause, and both instances show how you can still succeed in defeat by contributing to a future victory.

#36: The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
1958

When a dark magician shrinks Sinbad’s bride-to-be to the size of thumb, the swashbuckler must sail to the island of Collossa to obtain the eggshell of a Roc for a potion that will restore her to her original size. But it’s all a ruse so the magician can get his dirty hands a genie’s magic lamp. The first of three Sinbad films made by Ray Harryhausen was also the best. It’s a classic fantasy-adventure filled with good-old stop-motion creatures, including cyclopses, a fire-breathing dragon, and of course, the debut of the skeleton swordsman, Harryhausen’s trademark. I adore stop-motion. It may not look as “real” as the contemporary CGI, but I still think it looks cooler. You can tell it was all carefully sculpted and animated by hand, which I respect way more than letting a computer do all the work. Stop-motion is such a painstaking, frame-by-frame process -- it took Harryhausen nearly a year to create all the effects for this film, and it shows. Fantasy is one of my favorite genres, especially the “medieval fantasy,” if you will. There’s just something very classical and romantic about it. Although the human characters in Sinbad are all likeable, it’s the monsters you’ll be rooting for. Whenever the sailor slays them, you tend to see why his name is comprised of “sin” and “bad.” They’re just creatures defending their territory, you big meanie! And I don’t understand why Sinbad can’t love a miniature woman. She’d never start a fight, she’d never cheat and she’d understand if you need to. She’s perfect!

#35: Vincent
1982

Tim Burton’s first commercial film was by far his best. It’s a surrealist, 6-minute fantasy about a strange boy named Vincent who, tired of his ordinary lifestyle, indulges in morbid daydreams. Like all of Burton’s films to follow, it’s very dark, childish, and self-indulgent, but he really captured something special here. Whereas many of Burton's films are clearly autobiographical exaggerations of his own pangs that are more or less inaccessible to the audience, Vincent is done so well that it allows you to vent, too. It has a strikingly unique look and feel that really draws you in. Vincent was created via that wonderful stop-motion process, with a style that resembles German expressionism. The way it alternates between reality and imagination reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes, a comic that wasn’t even in existence yet. The narration is a 58-line poem, and the narrator is Vincent Price. Like Young Frankenstein, the music is delightfully reminiscent of an old horror movie, and “The Streets of Cairo” is the theme song. It’s a beautiful little film with a totally crazy ending. Is Vincent insane? Haunted? Or just a melodramatic loner reaching out for attention? See it and decide for yourself.

#34: Raiders of the Lost Ark
1981

Whu-pu-CHH! After Spielberg and Lucas became household names, they decided to work together to make an action film about a whip-cracking, daredevil archeologist named Indiana Jones. Following the greatest opening sequence of all time, Indy enters a treasure hunt against Hitler’s merry men to win the Lost Ark of the Covenant. Booby-trapped dungeons, puzzles, chase scenes, boss battles… I love these videogame-esque movies. A lot of people don’t know that just about everything in the Indy series was lifted from old television serials. Everything from Indy’s apparel to the giant boulder can be traced back to the cliff-hangers of yesteryear. But Spielberg and Lucas combined all the classic ideas in such a fresh way that they come off as homages rather than ripoffs. In fact, Raiders practically invented a new genre. It’s a collage of action, horror, romance, spy movies, westerns and fantasy. Most people call it an “adventure film.” Personally, I consider it a superhero film. Now, I know what you’re all saying -- Indy ain’t no superhero! Well, why not? He may not have superpowers, but neither did Batman. And Indy has all the traits of a common superhero: he's a regular professor by weekday/larger-than-life hero by weekend, he’s got his own trademark costume, a weapon of choice, an Achilles’ heel (Ophidiophobia), he’s always accompanied by a sidekick, the action scenes are super comic-book style, and he’s constantly battling supernatural forces and maniacal villains to save the world. As if the Spielberg-Lucas collaboration wasn’t cool enough, they got Lawrence Kasdan to write the script, Harrison Ford to star, and, of course, John Williams to write the score. It was the dream team!

#33: Stand by Me
1986

This is one of those special movies that feels like it was made just for me. And yet, I wasn’t surprised to learn that every fan of the movie feels the same way. Set in the fifties, it follows four teenage boys who set out to find the body of a missing classmate. Along their journey, they dodge trains, cross a leech-infested swamp, and outrun a junkyard dog trained to “sick balls.” The R-rated film is ironically the most nostalgic film I’ve ever seen on childhood. The characters are just so real. There’s Gordy, a talented writer struggling with depression; Chris, a reformed “bad apple” who finds it impossible to get a fresh start in a small town; Teddy, the hot-headed son of an abusive father, and Vern, the simple, chubby, happy kid who serves as the comic relief. I love these guys. Most people will be able to identify with one of them and liken friends to the others. All four leads are fantastic, as is Keifer Sutherland as the psychotic leader of their rival gang. Based on a short story by Stephen King, the screenplay is full of wonderful and unique touches, like a complete non sequitur that comes when Gordy tells the others an original campfire story about an overweight bully victim called “Lardass.” The soundtrack is comprised of classic 50’s songs, including the hit it was titled after. My only complaint is the dangling subplot about Gordy’s dead brother that never quite satisfyingly connects with the rest of the story. Other than that, the film stands high by my standards.


#32: Sherlock, Jr.
1924

This is the last of the short surrealist films, I swear! Sherlock, Jr. is a gem that’s slipped through the cracks, perhaps due to how ahead of its time it was. At 44 minutes, this comedy plays more like a big-budget, “hour-long” episode of a sitcom than a movie. Buster Keaton plays a kid who works at a movie theater but dreams of being a detective. He’s framed for stealing a pocketwatch from his girlfriend’s father and, despite his amateur sleuth efforts, is unable to prove his innocence. But then he falls asleep on the job and dreams he’s Sherlock, Jr., a renowned detective on a similar case. And that’s where the real fun begins. Writer/director/star Buster Keaton was as brilliant as he was daring. He performs all sorts of impressive stunts that double as hilarious gags, invoking awe and laughter at the same time. One scene finds him shooting pool with the villains, who have swapped out the 13-ball for an explosive replica ball that will detonate on impact. The suave Keaton effortlessly shoots an unbelievable game all around the ball, narrowly avoiding contact the entire game! In the scene where he jumps from the speeding train to the water spout, Keaton actually broke his neck (non-fatally) and didn’t find out until many years later. If it wasn’t a silent film, you could probably hear the crack. You never see modern actors performing such impressive and dangerous stunts. Today, it’s all done with doubles, wires and special effects, which is what makes these oldies such treasures. Keaton’s the real thing, and you can tell. But he also uses neat special effects of his own, like dissolving a wall so you can see through it, and superimposing “imaginary” footage into reality. Keaton was the Sherlock Holmes of filmmakers -- bloody brilliant!

#31: Double Indemnity
1944

This was the definitive film noir, another one of my favorite genres. A blonde bombshell sweet-talks an insurance salesman into off'ing her husband so they can run off with the payoff. And get this: his insurance company pays double if the victim dies in a rare freak accident, like, say, from falling off a moving train. I love noir; dark, dirty stories with equally dark lighting. They were a guilty pleasure to indulge in, inviting you to suspend your morals and take a walk on the wild side. D.I. takes you through such a detailed step-by-step process of planning, committing and covering up a murder that it actually makes you feel like you were a part of it, making it one of the most suspenseful films to sit through. The wife (Barbara Stanwyck) was the definitive femme fatale, a treacherous tramp that will destroy all your trust in women. Fred MacMurray is great as the poor sap who falls for the siren’s song, and Edward G. Robinson is even better as his suspicious boss who delivered all his lengthy, lightning-fast monologues by memory.  This is a great example of how classy old movies were. It has just as much sex and violence as a modern film, only the camera chooses to look the other way.  Instead of actually showing nudity and sexual content, it fades from passionate kisses (with climactic music) to the classic “buttoning up” scene and a post-sex cigarette. Gotta love it! And instead of seeing the salesman break the husband’s neck from the backseat, we only hear the noises as the camera focuses instead on the she-devil's cold smile in the driver's seat. The main reason young’uns don’t like old movies is because “you never get to see anything.” Well, the main reason I don’t like new movies is because you never get to imagine anything.

20 down, 30 to go! Click here for Part 3.

Top 50 Old Movies: Part 1

Old movies have such a bad rep with the younger crowd, which is a real shame. Why do so many people see all their movies in theaters? I don't get it. Is it to keep up with the gossip? Is it for the bigscreen experience? Or is everyone just addicted to the Hollywood drug that is CGI? When I have kids, I'm not letting them climb the branches until they know the roots. I say, be a moviecomer, not a moviegoer. Sadly, the generation gap only widens further when film snobs make those prestigious "greatest films of all time" lists that always consist of the most historically important yet boring choices. Sure, it’s cool if a movie was groundbreaking or influential, but come on, that's not what makes a film great to begin with. The most important thing about a film, in my mind, is how entertaining it is. I much prefer Kong over Kane, Star Wars over 2001 and spaghetti westerns over real westerns. So I decided to make my own list. It only had two prerequisites: I had to love the film and it had to come out before 1990.


#50: Fast and Furry-ous
1949

Back in the day, moviegoers were often treated to short films before the feature presentation. From 1933 to 1944, you could see Looney Tunes, Warner Bros.' classic animated comedy sketches, which introduced some of the greatest animated characters of all time including Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester, Tweety Bird, Marvin the Martian and Tasmanian Devil. These shorts were later be broadcast on television, which is how my genearation saw them. My favorite Looney Tunes are the ones with Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote. Coyote was always trying to catch the Roadrunner in Death Valley using super-overelaborate plans and malfunctioning Acme contraptions. The duo's very first sketch, Fast and Furry-ous, is easily my favorite. It features so many classic gags, like Coyote painting a fake tunnel on a wall to trick the Roadrunner into running into it, who actually runs through the painting as if the tunnel were real. Then of course, when the Coyote tries it, he crashes into the wall. I love that goofy cartoon logic, like how an animated character can take a long walk off a short cliff without falling until they realize they're actually defying gravity. These shorts do piss me off though, as I was always rooting for the Coyote. His schemes were so clever, while that damned Roadrunner was such a cocky nuisance. Sadly, the predator never caught his prey, unless you count the end of Soup or Sonic, in which a shrunken Coyote catches the "giant" Roadrunner and is unable to eat him. It teaches kids a valuable life lesson: you will never win, so why even try?


#49: 龍爭虎鬥
(Enter the Dragon)
1973

WU-TAAAH! Bruce Lee was the iconic figure of the martial arts film, and Dragon was his opus. Lee plays a Shaolin martial artist hired by the U.S. government to enter a fighting tournament held on a private island in order to bust the island’s drug racket. He’s a kung fu master by day and a ninja by night -- how has this not been made into a videogame? For a Hong Kong action film, the writing is phenomenal! In other words, the script is almost good! There's actually a story, the dialogue isn't half-bad and the characters are somewhat developed! On top of that, the English voice-dubbing almost matches! But you'll forgive the shortcomings when you see the fight scenes, which, I assure you, are many of the best ever filmed -- all in one movie. Get this: Lee was so fast that the filmmakers actually had to slow down the frame rate just to capture his moves on camera, as opposed to many modern action films, where the action is sped up to make stunts appear more dangerous than they really are. The final boss battle takes place in a hall-of-mirrors, where Lee faces an opponent armed with a huge, metal claw (this was a year before the debut of the X-Men character Wolverine). Dragon gained enormous popularity in both Hong Kong and America, launching Lee into international superstardom. Bummer he didn’t live to see it hit theaters. At age 32, he died of mysterious causes. At least he was able to give such an awesome dying gift to the world.

#48: Young Frankenstein
1974

Mel Brooks is a very unique writer/director; all his films are parodies of other genres. He’s spoofed everything from silent comedies to historical epics. But it was his comedic spin on Frankenstein lore that became my personal favorite. If you liked the animated television sitcom, The Simpsons, back when it was in its prime, you’ll love Young Franky. It’s like, the exact same kind of humor. Gene Wilder is perfect as the title role, a descendant of Victor’s, who refuses to acknowledge his heritage -- “it’s pronounced FRONK-EN-SHTEEN!” Then there’s Igor, the goofy hunchbank, Inga, the busty assistant, The Monster, and a slew of funny supporting characters. Every cast member seems born to play the roles. The filmmakers wonderfully recreate the style of an old Universal horror film. The opening credits actually make you feel like you’re watching a movie from the 30’s. Brooks insisted they shoot in black-and-white, which was very rare for the seventies. Most of the equipment in the lab were even the same props used in the 1931 Frankenstein. I really dig the old-fashioned, gothic score. You may recognize a five-second segment of it from Dramatic Chipmunk. Even though this is a satire, I actually think it’s the best Frankenstein film out there. There was so much potential humor in the source material, and combining classic horror with classic screwball was a stroke of mad genius. Brooks stitched old, dead ideas together and brought them back to life again. The result is a riotous disasterpiece.

#47: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
1988

In this hilarical mix of slapstick, screwball, spoof, dark and absurdist humor, Leslie Neilsen is detective Frank Drebin, a deadbrain detective full of deadpan one-liners, OJ Simpson (yeah, that OJ) plays his accident-prone yet death-proof partner, Ricardo Montalbán is the way-too-serious villain and Priscilla Presley is the sexy sex-joke device. The plot revolves around a plan to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II during a baseball game in the States, but I’ll be honest. The paper-thin story is nothing more than groundwork for the high-speed, no-brakes, endless barrage of jokes. This movie must have about a thousand of them. Most of them will make you chuckle, some are so bad you’ll laugh at them anyway, and some are so hysterious you’ll have to pause the film to recover. After the movie, I immediately Youtubed the short-lived television series it was based on, Police Squad!, which was cancelled after only six episodes due to how much audience attention it required to pick up on all the dry and subtle humor. Some people just don’t know when to laugh without a laughtrack. The film’s a little more flamboyant -- in a sex-scene that satirizes the AIDS scare of the 80’s, the characters put on full-body condoms. Hard to miss that. However, those paying attention will notice plenty of jokes that the idiots and multi-taskers are sure to miss, like the way Frank’s rank is constantly changing, sometimes mid-sentence, or how he walks around the walls of sets instead of through the doorways. Naked Gun isn't my favorite comedy, but it definitely gets my vote for the funniest. I’ve never laughed more or harder during a movie.

#46: Les Diaboliques
(The Devils)
1955

BrrRRRrr! What a chiller! After a dirty principal starts having an open affair with another teacher, his wife and mistress join forces to murder him and dump his body in the school’s swampy swimming pool. But when the pool is drained in the Spring, the body is gone. And that’s only the beginning of the eerie events that haunt the school. Henri-George Clouzot’s new wave French horror film is one of the most disturbing and unnerving films ever made. Unlike modern horror films, nothing pops out at you and there’s no gross-out gore; The Devils relies on creepy, mysterious occurrences to slowly build genuine terror. Instead of making you jump, it will make you shiver. It will make you cry instead of scream. It will elicit verbal responses like “no way,” “ohmygod,” and “That’s it. Turn off the movie and turn on the lights!” It was a major influence on Psycho, which came out five years later, which, spookily, was also the same year one of the Devils stars died the same way they die in the film! Beware: I don’t recommend seeing this one unless you’re really ready to get freaked. It’s the kind of film that generates paranoia that will continue long after you see the film, like Jaws or, to a lesser extent, The Truman Show.


#45: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
1989

In Indy’s third adventure, the whip-cracking, daredevil archeologist races the Nazis for the legendary Holy Grail. Crusade was my least favorite of the first three. I found it to be too preachy and too similar to Raiders, recycling the same villains, Nazis, and the same mythology, Christianity. Other than that, it’s still a hell of a film. The action scenes are spectacular, including a boat-chase through Venice, a biplane dogfight over Berlin, a motorcycle chase through Berlin and a tank battle in the Hatay desert. The finale pits Indy against a series of puzzles in a trap-filled dungeon. It’s all very videogame-esque. Sean Connery was brilliantly cast as Indy’s father, who makes a great side-kicking side-kick. When it comes to writing characters, opposites attract audiences. The Joneses are a great example. They’re constantly bickering when they should be cooperating, adding a whole new layer of excitement to already-exciting scenes. The Indy films were synonymous with great opening sequences. Here, River Phoenix plays the teenage Indy in a flashback that shows how the character acquired his iconic hat, whip, fear of snakes and even the chin-scar that Harrison Ford's always had from a car accident. Crusade was a great ending to a great trilogy. That’s right, I don’t count that crappy fourth film made in 2008. Although the filmmakers finally realized the importance of having fresh villains and mythology like Temple of Doom had, the magic was long gone. I’m kind of sad they didn’t keep the series running with new actors like the Bond franchise. After all, Indy did drink from the Grail, so it would only seem fitting for his character to live on forever. Oh well. We'll always have the first three.


#44: To Kill A Mockingbird
1962

Everybody’s seen this one -- probably as an alternative to reading the novel in high school. Atticus Finch is a small-town lawyer who chooses to defend a black man accused of raping a white woman… in 1930’s Alabama -- you know, back when there was still racism in the South. Meanwhile, his children, Scout and Jem, become fascinated with a mysterious neighbor they’ve heard many a strange story about though have never seen. Part courtroom-drama, part coming-of-age story, Mockingbird is one of those adaptations where everything came together perfectly. Like Harper Lee’s novel, it captures the time and place so well, you’ll feel like a Maycomb resident yourself. The film always gives me a temporary hick accent and IQ reduction. It has superb direction, moody cinematography and a tightly adapted screenplay. The performances are knockouts, not only from Gregory Peck and the kids, but from all the supporting roles as well, including Robert Duvall’s screen debut as Boo Radley and Brock Peters as the “innocent” Tom Robinson. Yeah, I’m still pretty sure Tom was guilty. One advantage films have over books is the music, as Elmer Bernstein’s evocative score proves thoroughly. Atticus is one of the great movie heroes -- a justice fighter, a smart lawyer and the best dad ever, teaching his children (and the audience) the importance of doing the right thing, no matter what the consequences.

#43: Casablanca
1942

You must remember this. A film is just a film. Reviews are just reviews. No fundamental truths apply, but as time goes by, Casablanca is among the most consistent entries on everyone’s list. It’s the perfect movie to watch after you've been dumped, especially for guys. Anyone who’s had their heart broken badly can totally empathize with Rick, a cold, cynical nightclub owner who acquires the only plane tickets out of occupied Nazi-Morocco. In walks Ilsa -- the reason for his emoness -- with her new boytoy, desperate to flee the country. It's a great "love and war" drama that depicts those horrible feelings oh so wonderfully -- the way Rick can’t stand their old song yet still yearns to hear it, his disinterest in everything from other women to the War, and in his opening shot, what is he doing? Playing with himself. Granted, it’s a game of chess, but that’s about as suggestive as you could get in the forties. It was a very topical film (released less than a month after Allied Forces entered WWII) that had a huge impact on the nation, reflecting America’s shifting attitudes about the war and even inspired intervention. But personally, what I found to be the most influential thing in the film was the incredible amount of smoking and drinking. Sure, cigarettes were common in old movies because it looked so cool in B&W, but holy Marlborough! Try playing the drinking game during this movie. I dare anyone to take a shot every time a character takes a drink or a drag. You’ll pass out before Ingrid Bergman even enters the picture.

#42: The Terminator
1984

This was the iconic 80’s film. Robots, time-travel, car chases, gunfights, techno, miniatures, big hair… Terminator’s got it all! Two warriors from the future warp back to 1984: one is a cyborg assassin sent back to murder Sarah Connor, whose son will go on to lead a war against the machines in the post-apocalyptic future; the other is a soldier sent back to protect her. Terminator mixes action, sci-fi and horror into a gripping thriller that grabs you right from the start and only squeezes tighter and tighter. It was the breakthrough film for James Cameron, who would later make some of the most expensive films ever made. But I don’t give two shits about 3D movies if the characters in it are all one-dimensional. Terminator has a superb script that boasts strong characters, thought-provoking concepts and clever twists. Arnold Schwarzenegger is perfect in the title role, a single-minded, endlessly persistent, practically invincible hunter, one of the greatest screen villains of all time. Ahnold is so buff, it hurts just looking at him. The human soldier sent back to stop him doesn’t stand a chance, which is what makes the battle so exciting. The oldschool, low budget special effects are bound to elicit one of two reactions: "So fake!" or "So dank!" As a child, I thought that metal endoskeleton was the coolest monster ever. I would draw him all the time. Now that the effects have aged and I can tell it's all puppets and stop-motion, I think it's even cooler! Somehow, knowing how they did it engages me in the film even more. The only problem with the movie is it suffers from having the greatest sequel of all time. I’ll be back to review that one someday!

#41: Old Yeller
1957

I hate this movie, but it was an obligatory inclusion. In 1860’s Texas, young Travis becomes the man of the family farm after his father goes on a three-month cattle run. When a troublemaking stray dog appears, Travis wants nothing to do with it… but the mutt slowly grows on him. Yeller was the quintessential dog movie: a coming-of-age story filled with charming “boy and his dog” scenes, great animal stunts, and (SPOILER ALERT!) a heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking climax that caused many parents to shield the ending from their children. There was a Friends episode where a shocked Phoebe finally saw the real ending on TV, as her mother had always turned the movie off early, tricking her into thinking it had a happy ending. This was actually common practice in many households. Audiences in '57 didn’t even know what was coming. It was quite daring of the filmmakers to throw such a curveball ending on an otherwise lighthearted Disney western-family film. However, I think the film should be mandatory viewing for all dog owners. Strap the kids down and tape their eyes open. They gotta learn that Sparky ain't gonna live forever. At least the film has an uplifting resolution. This is more than just a movie; it’s a rite of passage.




And I'm just getting started. Click here for Part 2.