After the golden age of arcade games came the first home consoles. I’m skipping over the first and second generations of videogame consoles, like the Odyssey and the Ataris. I'm sorry, the primitive technology just wasn't yet capable of greatness (other than the home versions of Pong, of course). Those shitty consoles and their shitty games led to the Videogame Crash of 1983/84, nearly killing the industry as we know it! Fortunately, in 1985, videogames were saved by the original Nintendo. It was the first great console, in this gamer’s opinion. Many of the now-classic franchises got their start on the NES. Although some of the originals haven’t aged as well (Final Fantasy, Metroid and Zelda), many of them are still great today. The 8-bit wonder had such a large library there are plenty of overlooked games as well. I bet this list contains titles even the most elite retro gamers haven’t heard of. Best of all, NES games are cheap! You can buy every game on this list for $15 or less. Note: in order to qualify for this list (and all to follow), the game had to be originally released for the designated console, rather than a port.
#20: Duck Hunt
1984/85
One of the early first-person-shooters, Duck Hunt came packaged with the Zapper Light Gun, a gun accessory which allowed you to shoot an infrared beam at the screen. There’s no end to the gameplay, but it’s a bitchin' little arcade-style game to compete against friends with for a high score. You can even have a friend control the duck with the other controller. Pros can try their aim at "2 ducks" or "clay pidgeons." Then, of course, there’s The Dog. When you shoot a bird down, The Dog loyally retrieves your kill. But if you miss, the stupid mutt snickers at you! Naturally, everyone’s reaction is to shoot The Dog, but he’s invulnerable. Otherwise, the game’s hit detection is very realistic, requiring true accuracy, unless you’re sitting a foot away from the screen like I do. Who the hell hunts with a pistol, anyway? I duck taped a magnifying glass on the end of my Zapper to spread the infrared beams, effectively turning my Zapper pistol into a Zapper shotgun. Take that, duck-fucks! Now I just have to find a way to kill that damn dog…
#19: Mega Man VI
1993/94
Their were six Mega Man games on the NES, and bet your ass every one of them made this list. The series is amazing! They all followed the same basic story: the evil Dr. Wily is trying to take over the world with a bunch of robots, and it’s up to Dr. Light’s robot, Mega Man, to defeat them all. You always start at a Brady Bunch screen of robot masters to choose the order you play the levels, which was a big departure from linear games of the era. And after defeating each robot master, you obtained their weapon. Ah, the weapons. This was the highlight of the games, as every game featured a whole new arsenal of badass toys. Of the six original games, MM6 was my least favorite, though that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great game. However, unlike the other five, which all managed to be fresh and inventive, 6 was the only one in that felt like a rehash of an old (albeit solid) formula with only minor tweaks, like all the Zelda games after Ocarina. It seemed the series was running out of gas, which in fact, couldn’t be further from the truth. The reason this game was so rushed was because Capcom was simultaneously rebooting the series on the SNES with Mega Man X. But that’s another story for another day. Mega Man 6 still holds a special place in my heart, mainly because YOU GET A FUCKING JETPACK!
#18: Dr. Mario
1990
Apparently, Mario got tired of burning plants and shrooms and decided to get a medical degree so he could write himself “prescription” drugs. Doc was a Tetris-like puzzle game where you again manipulate falling objects, only this time, they’re megavitamins and you’re going for colors instead of rows. The goal in each level is to defeat all the viruses, which is done by connecting them with three-in-a-row of the same color. If your vitamins pile up too high, you’ll obstruct the mouth of the medicine bottle and lose. Everyone calls this a puzzle game, which I feel is only half-true. Puzzles have a take-your-time pace and test your problem solving abilities. Doc, on the other hand, has a hurry-the-fuck-up pace and tests your eye for patterns. It’s more like an action-puzzle game. It should come with a Surgeon General’s Warning -- it’s more addictive than tobacco, and that catchy theme song will be stuck in your head long after you stop poppin' the pills.
#17: Adventures in the Magic Kingdom
1990
Mickey, Donald and Goofy have to find all six keys to Cinderella’s castle and they need your help! In other words, you need to beat mini-games based on actual theme park attractions. There’s Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion, both classic platformer levels, Big Thunder Mountain, a rip-roaring rollercoaster, Autopia, an Indianapolis-style racecar track, Space Mountain, a psychedelic reaction test, and the non-ride Disney trivia, requiring you to answer eight questions correctly about classic Disney films (from over fifty random questions). These mini-games rock! However, they're not easy. I died about a dozen times on every ride before I beat it. I was beginning to think the game was way too hard until I realized the pause screen happened to include a shop where you can buy things like health, extra lives and invincibility. Needless to say, this makes the game a bit easier. But it still doesn’t make me ever want to visit the real Magic Kingdom -- those rides seem dangerous! My ex-girlfriend saw this at a retro game store and begged me to buy it for her. I assumed since I’d never heard of it and the market audience was boobless girls, it must be garbage. Luckily she talked me into it -- I ended up loving it more than she did! There are tons of overlooked gems out there, so don’t judge a game by its cover.
#16: Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse
1989/90
This is where the series got great. Castlevanias are famous for their spooky atmospheres, gothic enemies and death metal soundtracks, and Castle III delivers on all accounts. It also introduced multiple routes through the game, additional characters, and finally, a password system, so you don’t have to torture yourself into beating the entire game in one sitting. Aside from Trevor Belmont, there are three new playable characters: Alucard (Dracula spelled backwards), a good-hearted vamp who can turn into a bat to fly over those pesky hard parts; Sypha, a sorceress who can use fire, ice and lightning magic; and Grant, a froglike pirate who has great speed, user-friendly jumps, and can crawl along walls and ceilings! This game kicks ass! Mainly your own, though. It’s wicked good but wicked hard. It’ll make you break the controller in frustration, then glue the pieces back together to try again. A lot of NES games were difficult for the wrong reasons, like shitty mechanics. But Castle III was hard for the right reasons. It tests your reflexes and requires you to learn the levels and enemy patterns before you even stand a chance. I actually prefer a good challenge. Easy games are a bore. Sure, old games may have been strict, frustrating, and even unfair, but at least they prepared you for the real world. You’re not always gonna succeed on your first try. Sometimes you have to fail two or three (or twenty) times beforehand. And in reality, there are no extra lives, no save points and no continues -- one life is all you get, and retro games taught me to use it wisely.
#15: Contra
1987
Lock and load! Bill and Lance are two macho, shirtless army dudes who drop onto an island to wipe out an entire alliance of terrorists and aliens. Though based on an arcade game of the same title, this home-console remake is definitely superior. The levels are similar, but it improves upon the arcade game’s two major flaws: the thin screen and unlabeled weapons. In the NES version, the screen is wide so you can actually see your enemies coming, and the weapons are labeled so you can actually decide whether to pick them up or not, as taking a new gun forces you to abandon your old one. Speaking of guns, you get a bitchin' variety. But the best part of all, you get infinite ammo. There’s no reason to not be shooting. Whereas Bubble Bobble was a great co-op game to play with your girlfriend, Contra is a game you play with the bros. You can try it solo but you won’t last very long. It’s brutally difficult (voted the #1 hardest game of all time by IGN). One hit and you're dead, and the screen is constantly filling with enemies and bullets. The game practically has to be played on 2-player. It requires you to work together, guard opposite edges of the screen, cover each other’s backs and take different targets in boss battles. Fortunately, like many Konami games, it features the famous “Konami Code,” a password that gives you a plentiful amount of extra lives: UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-START! You better rememberize it if you wanna be in the Contra Club!
#14: Mega Man V
1992
The Blue Bomber's fifth NES adventure was my fifth favorite. It was significant for introducing M tanks, Beat and the letter icons. The M tank replenished magic, er, weapon energy. Beat was a robotic bird sidekick that attacked enemies for you, much like releasing a bee in Link to the Past. And to get Beat, you had to find a letter icon in each of the eight levels, which eventually spelled out MEGAMANV. I love collectibles, especially when the game indicates which levels you missed them in, a feature I adore in games since I’m one of those OCD gamers who has to get everything. It’s a drag having to search every inch of a game for that one elusive secret you missed, but it’s fun when you know exactly which level it’s in. This was also the first Mega Man game to include a map. The level design is excellent. Starman’s stage is set in space, where you can jump extremely high, and Gravity Man’s stage is a Metal Storm-esque level where you have to alternate gravity and play the level upside-down. The coolest weapons were the Charge Kick, which turns your slide into an attack; Gravity Hold, which sucks all flying enemies offscreen; and the Super Arrow, which you can use as a weapon, vehicle or a platform! Yep, I take notes while I game.
#13: Mega Man IV
1991/92
Rock’s fourth game was the first to tell his backstory, the first with the charge shot on the arm cannon and the first to feature a villain other than Dr. Wily. Favorite weapons: Flash Stopper, which froze time, allowing you to stop enemies and obstacles while you continue to move and fire normally; Rain Flush, which rained acid on everything onscreen; and the Wire Adaptor, which served as a grappling hook. I always felt these games achieved the perfect level of difficulty. They were always challenging but never overwhelmingly frustrating. However, one complaint I have about the entire series is the hassle of having to learn each boss’s weakness. Unless you remember from previous experience, you’re bound to spend a lot of time playing guess-and-check. True, you can beat the bosses with only the arm cannon, but it’s often quite difficult. Personally, I always looked up a recommended level order just to save time. But man, I wish each level had contained a well-hidden clue as to the boss’s weakness, like “Heat Man loves fire but hates the cold” or “Nothing can cut down Wood Man!”
#12: Kirby's Adventure
1992/93
King DeDeDe stole the Star Rod from the Fountain of Dreams, preventing all the Dream Land inhabitants from dreaming! It’s up to Kirby to save the day, er, the nights. Though it was the second in the series, this was the definitive Kirby game. It gave the pink puffball his signature “copy” ability, allowing him to steal powers from the enemies he swallows. There are dozens of different powers, each with their own fun effects. My favorites were U.F.O., which let you zip around in a flying saucer; Wheel, which let you roll around super-fast; and Lazer, a projectile that bounced off walls. Kirby games are like softcore versions of Mega Man. If Mega Man was a beer, Kirby would be a juicebox. This game also introduced the slide attack, the Star Rod and the popular villain, Meta Knight. Pretty much everything Kirby-related in the Smash Bros. series came straight from Kirby’s Adventure. It’s one of those games that’s easy to beat but challenging to get 100%, which requires you to find all the secret areas (AHHH OCD!). Between levels, you can also play three fun mini-games to earn extra lives. Kirby’s Adventure was released over a year after the Super Nintendo was all the rage, proving the nerdier older brother was still cool, too!
#11: Super C
1988
Relock and reload! The terrorist-alien alliance is back, and so are Bill and Lance. Oh wait, I guess this time it’s “Mad Dog” and “Scorpion.” Whatever, for now on I’m just calling them “Red Rambo” and “Blue Rambo.” Longer, harder, and even more bromantic, Super C really supersedes the original. The only thing I wasn’t crazy about in Contra were the “3D” levels, where the Rambos are in the foreground firing at enemies in the background. These sections were just too dull and easy compared to the platforming levels. In Super C, they were replaced with overhead levels, like in an adventure game. These levels were my favorite, especially since you could move in eight directions. Again, teamwork is crucial, so pick your partner wisely. For some lame reason, the Konami Code wasn’t included, although there is an alternate code that gives you more extra lives. Don’t feel bad about looking it up. These games are way too hard on the default difficulty. Using the code only bumps them down from “impossible” to “theoretically possible.” But the challenge is what makes them so thrilling. Few action games have ever gotten my heartbeat so fast nor my controller so sweaty. Contras are also great male-bonding experiences. The only men I truly trust are the ones I’ve returned from a Contra tour with.
Ten down, ten to go! Here's Part 2.
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